Look, it's a new post! OMG AND IT'S ABOUT LAUNDRY!

Hello blogosphere.

I have missed you so, so much.

I think it's been about two years since I have posted on here. In that time, I have learned that the internet can be kind of a sketchy place. Somewhere you wouldn't necessarily want to post drunken ramblings on because people like your employer can find it and it will not fare well for you. But I am thinking that this should be okay since I am hoping there is no identifiable information here for me. Although I am sure there is I just tell myself there isn't so that I can have an excuse to make this new post.

OK SO I JUST HAVE TO SAY. This is very important so please...lean in, listen closely, take notes if you must. I cannot stress the importance of this: DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT...ever do laundry sober. WHY? I will tell you why!! Because...doing laundry sober is a very dull experience. Extremely dull. So much so that some even consider it a chore. Why would you WANT to do something that is a chore? Don't we all really just want to do things that are enjoyable to us? Are chores enjoyable to anyone? Perhaps a few people...people who are obsessive about things being clean...but even then, I don't think it's so much the process of doing the laundry so much as the final result that they enjoy. They say that life is about the journey...I don't think it is about the journey with laundry. It is definitely about the end result with laundry. Who ENJOYS having to hull the dirty laundry into the washer and measure out the detergent and then have to deal with the washing machine sounds for hours? WHO? I am sure there are a few people, but I am also sure they are lesser so than those who just enjoy the final outcome. It's not about the journey with laundry, people. It is about the destination. The final destination...of laundry.

So I feel like the last paragraph I wrote is something I will think is very clever now, and even possibly tomorrow morning, and then read over sober and be like wow. Alcohol really is amazing for making you think that you are so much more amazing than you actually are.

That being said....I just have to say another thing...but this isn't about laundry.

Here it is. You are so much more amazing than you think you are, and there is no shame in accepting that. Really. I know we live in a society that values confidence and hates arrogance, and I don't think it is egotistical or arrogant to think you are awesome. You know why? Because the alternative is thinking that you aren't awesome, and that is SO not conducive to being awesome. And you should always want to be awesome as opposed to not being awesome. I know there is a sweet perfect balance somewhere in there that few attain...but if you are given the choice, I hope you air more on the side of awesomeness than thinking you aren't awesome. Just don't be arrogant about it. Okay? Okay.

I have a lot of bags and I don't know why. Like, just regular plastic bags. Bags from the grocery store, bags from shopping. How many do you save up before you decide to start recycling them? I can't open my little linen closet without some plastic bags falling out, so I am guessing I should take that as a sign that I am at my plastic bag limit. But it's really hard to throw out plastic bags. They just seem so useful. Just think of the infinite amount of items that you can put in them. There really isn't much you can't put in them, unless they are larger than the size of the bag. Hey, I think it is time for a math statement. Objects < size of bag = acceptable bag storage options. I was never very good at math. I still count on my fingers. I am not ashamed of this. Despite the fact that I will probably count on my fingers under my desk, it is NOT because I am ashamed. And given the previous math statement, maybe I am not giving myself enough credit here. Sometimes I do that. Other times I think I give myself too much credit. Again, a difficult balance. Balance is stupid. Things that I don't like or that are challenging are stupid. True story.

Well...I feel like this post has past the point of "silly and entertaining" and is perching precariously over "just drunken rambling" so I should wrap it up here. It's weird, I feel something similar to when you are at a party and you know it's already hit the fun climax of the night and your friend is tugging on your arm trying to get you to leave. You know it's late and for the best if you do, but you aren't quite ready to give up on the night yet. You want to suck all the fun there is to be had out of said night. But blogs aren't like nights out. Or maybe they are, but it's more important to heed that little tug of "it's time to go". So much more important. Because having a social life online rather than in person is the way of the future. WAY OF THE FUTURE!